What is love?

According to the dictionary, love is as follows:

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.

 I can safely say that now I have known all three of these versions of love.  For a very long time, I was mostly concerned with the third definition.  When my son was born, I felt the second.  I didn't have any profoundly tender, passionate affection for anybody until rather recently though.  I lived my life "loving" people, but maintaining a safe distance so that when they inevitably decided to leave me I wasn't hurt.  Let me tell you, that is no way to live. 

 Living in a relationship where everything has a cost is terrible.  I cooked, so you have to clean or I did the laundry so you have to put the kids to bed.  Tit for tat is not love, it's commerce.  I feel like love should be about doing things to make the other person happy and they should have the same outlook on life.  They should spend a good portion of their day smiling because they have you, not loathing what's become of you.  

The problem with love is that it stems from a chemical reaction and if you don't keep chasing that high, the chemicals go away.  That first time you are attracted to someone is fantastic.  The first smile, the first time you notice how blue their eyes are, the first time they speak and you hear something that you can't live without in their tone...  What happens five years later though, when you are living together and everything is about getting to work on time and what is for dinner?  Well, I'm thinking that there has to be a way to keep those first few "honeymoon" months in the forefront of your mind.  

Now, I'm definitely no expert on relationships.  I've failed so many times it is ridiculous.  Is it because I rush into these things and don't think about consequences?  Is it because I settle for what I think will be a comfortable existence?  I'd say all of those things have contributed to at least one of my failures.  

I think now that I am older, I am learning that I need to find someone who really understands me.  Someone who won't hate who I am later on because they have known exactly who I am from the beginning.  

I've been thinking about this a lot today as I was joking with an old friend about how I just can't seem to make it to seven years.  It's not the dreaded seven year itch, because I don't even get close to it.  I stay through the uphill battles and the strife and then I leave when it's headed back downhill.  

Perhaps lack of emotion gets the best of me.  I go into a relationship with only logic.  Somewhere down the line, my brain starts poking me and I realize that I didn't ever ask exactly how logical these relationships were.  I may have found someone with the right income and the right job, but did I consider how much experience with kids they had?  I find someone who has great drive and focus, but when they get home they lose all of that.  

So there it is, I'm going to quit over-thinking things and see where this follow your heart stuff takes me.